miserable tonight.

i am.
in a daze.
in what seems like.
a contemplation station.
my emotions run.
like a bath.
hot and cold.
i see no apparent effects.
of my subtle self-medication.

it's four o'clock.
kris waits for brother and bitch.
in blatant frustration.
as i sit up.
online.
typing an account.
of my self-degradation.

my spirit grows weary.
i talked to god.
and asked for a vacation.
it's one of those, those days.
where you can't feel.
you're numb.
without sensation.

when you beg a holy being.
for rescue.
for salvation.
but all you get.
is a silent answer.
and, by waiting.
in condemnation.
received nothing.