Day 14

"If not you, then who? If not now, then when?"



God only knows.

//Edit: 9:44pm

I've been seriously thinking about just not trying this relationship again. You have to understand my doubts in you integrating me into your new life--there's just no room for me. I can see that you're happy and content with what you have now, so why throw me in the mix and mess it all up? I am confident that this could be what's best for us and God made me sick today so I could take time and just see that my life is whole in Him and I can't keep thinking that you being in my life will somehow complete it. I love you very much but maybe I miss and love the old you. The you that made me believe that in the end, it'd be you and me; the old you that made my days bright and made me miss you just after we said 'goodbye'; the old you that called me and tried to be a little of a provider and a gentleman. Then you got busier, but that's okay. You're a different man now and maybe the 'you' now doesn't need me in his life.