02/03/12

Today is the day I learned that EMS is not a profession of TIMIDITY.

Just jump in there—go with your gut and trust your training. Don't expect to beast it, but just do your best because you're a patient advocate. This is emergency medical SERVICE. 

PS: I got to do compressions on 2 people! It was THE BEST. There goes my workout for the day! I got this though; I just need a little more time and a lot more of God. 

the Little things:

I want this, I NEED this. 

I get seeds of self-doubt planted in my head daily about if this—Medicine—is it really for me? I can feel the eagerness to grow, learn, and excel, but I can see the weakness and lack of self-confidence in myself. 

I gotta stop being the wallflower, because obviously it's not working out. 

All things work together for the good of those who love God 

and are called according to His purpose. —Romans 8:28 

PS: who's gonna be brave enough to love me or dumb enough to try?

PPS: why the eff have i been thinking about sex everyday lately? i feel like such a guy, haha -___-

\\edit: 02/04/12

"Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God."

Acts 5:38-39 (so i'll take this as a "stop trying to chase tail and wait"; he'll get here soon, in God's time.)

the BIG things:

i'm so fucking pissed right now. 7-3 busy ass ER shift at RCRMC. did compressions. physically and emotionally draining. then daddy doesn't tell me that he and grandpa are going to pechanga after they pick me up—and i'm going too. "2 hours" he says, "only 2 hours" and they get back to the car 3.5 hrs later. so here i am, it's 9:30 and i got off my shift at 3. i barely got to do any work in the car because the sun set. a;lfj;alkdjf;lkajfl;kajsd;lkfajkl;dfj;aslkdfj midterm on monday, finals on wednesday, homework, projects, papers, online hw, and i'm TIRED. i'm EXHAUSTED. and i'm ANGRY. i probably need anger management right now because i could honestly kill someone. beware. especially you, you coward asshole with no integrity. shame on you for walking away the way you did—watch your back, because the woman who had it for those 4.5 years might stab it.