Home is wherever I'm with you

https://pipl.com/directory/name/Dulu/Homer/

PS: um, you're old!! haha the internet told me so.

PPS: this post stays hidden because 

i'd probably DIE if you ever read it :)

\\EDIT: Friday, November 23, 2012, 11:43pm

From: "Gus"

happy thanksgiving dear joyce! i am thankful for having met you, for your good heart and for your ability to keep me laughing. hope you're having an awesome one!

Nov 22, 7:26 pm

well it's certainly awkward now that i find you fascinating. after the friendly "i like you and i think you're amazing" text, i realized that i LIKE you. yeah, i know: WHAT?!! so i'm thinking i'm gonna tell you later that i'm not gonna talk to you until this goes away. or should i just not tell you and just stop talking to you altogether for a while? idk, dude..

\\EDIT: Sunday, November 25, 2012, 10:01pm

okay, so i've resorted to spying/stalking -_______- but i can't help it; i admire you. you're so transparent and i love seeing your heart in word in deed because i know that your God is my God. it's just amazing how beautiful your heart is; i am left teary-eyed because this genuineness is so rare. i'm thankful for having met you and grateful for your friendship, even if that's all i get. plus, it's so strange to read my ideals from the mind of another—it's like God telling me not everything i think is stupid haha. but yeah, here's a collection of something things i liked from your tumblr :) it's weird because you say things that i can relate to/feel like I would say.. POR EJEMPLO:

find someone who you can talk to and make you laugh for the rest of your life. for looks will fade, but the joy of conversation is forever.
find-someone-who-you-can-talk-to-and-make-you

**dude, this has been my philosophy. i always fall for beautiful hearts with great senses of humor.

grace, patience and lovei’ve been feeling so short of showing grace to other people lately, because of the things i harbour in my heart, but 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love keeps no record of wrongs.God, why must grace and patience and showing love, especially after feeling beaten down, be so hard? this must be your lesson so i can give her the selfless and unconditional love she deserves. grace-patience-and-love

**see.. things like this, being transparent. C'est tre magnifique!

“(Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” - 1 Corinthians 13:7i try my heart out to be there for you and i always want to be there. although i feel like i’m invisible to you, if i must learn to love, then i must learn to persevere. i must learn to not be discouraged. i must learn to trust and hope in God’s perfect and loving plan. and maybe, just maybe, one day He will open your eyes…
:)
love-always-protects-always-trusts-always-hopes

**shoot, this is how i felt with kris.

father’s dayfather’s day gives me an opportunity to reflect on all the things my own father did for our family, as a dad and a husband. i want to be father to my kids the way he was a father to me.
fathers-day

**i adore this!! i love MY dad and i want to marry a man that loves like he does.

I wish I could fast-forward life until my first date with my future wife.
i-wish-i-could-fast-forward-life-until-my-first

**what a romantic! i wish similar things and even write letters to my future husband... weird much??! haha

A prayer for a friendDear God,
I would like to pray for a friend, a fellow sister in You.
She was in a car accident last week and I thank You so much God, in your endless mercy, for sparing her. I know that Your protective hand was upon her the whole time and I am so grateful that You kept her safe. The car is a total writeoff, but thank You so much, that car is what protected her from any major injuries.
Please, Lord, I ask you for healing. All I know is that she’s suffering from bruising, a sore chest from where the airbag hit her and whiplash. She’s still in some pain right now, and suffering from dizziness, and I pray that You take it all away from her. I pray that she feels better soon. But Lord, it’s not not just physical healing that I pray for, but also emotional healing. I know how traumatic a car accident can be and just how difficult it is to get back behind the wheel of a car after a major accident, especially when it involves major injuries. These type of scars take a lot longer to heal than the physical wounds. But God, I pray, when it comes time for her to get back behind the wheel, that You give her strength to overcome her fears and that she knows that You will always protect her, that You will never leave her.
Lord, please be with her this week. She’s probably trying to deal with the shock of it all and her injuries, while still having to return back to her normal life of school and all that comes with it without falling too far behind. It’s going to be extremely tough for her the next few days, but I also pray that she remembers You, that You know what is best for her, and that You give her the strength to get through these challenges that lay before her. Please remind her that You love her, and that if there are times when her circumstances become so overwhelming, I ask that you overflow her with Your love and give her peace inside.
I pray that she turns to You in this time of need, that she places her trust in You, and that You give her rest.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28
And that she doesn’t forget that You are Good.
“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” - Psalm 34:8
and
“For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” - Psalm 100:5
And Lord, although this is less important, please give me the wisdom to keep encouraging her, to make her feel better. And the patience, for me to be there if she needs me, even though she may not want me around. Please continue to teach me how to show compassion to her in her time of need. And also that I may have Your peace so I may stop being so anxious and worried about her.
And, finally Lord, I just want to thank you again for being amazing, loving and merciful towards my fellow sister in Christ.
Amen.
a-prayer-for-a-friend

**the sincerity is MORE than apparent. it's simply dazzling that someone could write something like this.

Valentine’s DayValentine’s Day is still one more week away, but it’s rather funny seeing people everywhere writing about Valentine’s Day already (ironically myself included haha).
The cynic in me says that it’s all because of marketing and popular culture that people were thinking about Valentine’s Day waaaay too far ahead - sometimes in January! Haha.
The romantic in me thinks that it’s sweet and fun, regardless of whether you are single or with somebody. It’s a nice opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, be it with flowers, chocolates and pretty little cards - but more importantly, in actions and words.
The idealist in me thinks that EVERY day should be Valentine’s Day and that your significant other should be made to feel special every single moment of every single day. Think 50 First Dates.
Admittedly, I try not to get stressed or perturbed about not having a Valentine. It doesn’t really bother me too much. You know why? Because I know there’s always Valentine’s Day next year, or forever after that, for whoever it is in my future (:
Anyways, enough about the worldly view. What does the Bible say about Love and how does it relate to Valentine’s Day?
Everyone knows about 1 Corinthians 13. It is an amazing passage of what love is and how we should love. The person who wonderfully and perfectly exemplified that was Christ himself, giving up his own life on the cross to pay for our sins. Wow. One thing for sure… Love is selfless.
But I want to approach it from a different perspective. How can we express 1 Cor 13 in practical terms, as Man and Woman? After all, Valentine’s Day is supposed to be how society “expresses” its worldly love for one another. Well, I’ve been reading “Boy Meets Girl” by Joshua Harris - a wonderfully written book and solidly grounded in the Word. If you are single and are thinking about courtship and dating, I wholeheartedly recommend this book, and also the previous book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”.
Well, I’m only 2/3 of the way through the book, but a few verses stuck out for me:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” - Ephesians 5:25-27.
and
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” - 1 Peter 3:3-4
and
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” - Proverbs 31:30
Wow. Wonderful verses right?
Ephesians 5:25-27 is how I would like to be as a husband one day. And honestly, I am excited at that. I want to be someone who exalts and lifts his wife up to God, to cherish and sacrifice for her in the way that Christ cherished and sacrificed for ME. I am a long way from that right now, but I know that God is slowly, but surely, moulding me to be that man.
Much has been made of 1 Peter 3, especially verse 1 and conveniently forget about the rest. Yet verses 3 and 4, to me, are what makes a woman beautiful. Same goes for Proverbs 31. In those two passages, you will find some character traits of a Woman of God. Someone who is not only beautiful on the outside but moreso on the inside. These are qualities that a Godly man must look for in a wife. Worth far more than rubies!!! And a woman who is a Godly woman, who loves Jesus with all her heart, will make Ephesians 5:25-27 a breeze!
But if you’re single, do not despair! Keep your eyes on God and REJOICE in your singleness for this is but a season in which God is preparing you. Free from distraction, this is the perfect time to grow in your relationship with God! 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says: “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Yet. We cannot forget who has to be at the centre of the relationship. GOD must come first! It’s all too easy to idolise romance and infatuations and warm and fuzzy feelings for each other, but feelings change. Looks change. Character and love remain. It’s also too easy to idolise wanting to be with someone, idolise falling in love, and idolise wanting to get married. But if God is at the centre of it all, then that is the foundation of a Godly and successful relationship. What is God’s Will here? And so my personal prayer is this: God, whoever it is, whether I have already met her, or yet to meet her, I leave it in Your hands. (And that she be sensitive to His moving too and see me there in front of her hehe).
D’oh! I just realised I spent this whole post talking about what *I* am looking for. I must apologise to you, the reader, for being so selfish about what I want. We must be sensitive to what God wants, not to what I want! So I guess I’ll just finish off here. It’s funny though, with this perspective, what I want to do now is not to receive love, but to give love - whereas it was the opposite before. It’s only a matter now of finding someone who will accept it.
Well, let me finish off with this wonderful quote from Matthew Henry which sums up what it means to be Man and Woman:
“Eve was not taken out of Adam’s head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.”
Well, I hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
valentines-day

**very original, albeit generic, but still—original.

No regrets (and no alarms and no surprises, please)On my drive down to SD today, there was one main lesson from God that I really reflected on today: to not regret.
There were things that I reflected upon, that I looked back upon in my life, things that were - and currently are - unpleasant, but I can honestly say that I do not regret that any of these things happened to me. I am not angry nor am I bitter that God decided to put these challenges into my life. I am not angry nor bitter at anybody who put me in situations of sadness and heartbreak. In fact, I am glad and I am thankful for it all, because I know that it has taught me to be more dependent on Him for everything. The lessons of 1 Thess 5:18 and Matthew 11:28 are so applicable here. Honestly, there is no point in being angry about things anymore. It’s such a waste of energy letting such needless things consume you. Especially when it’s out of your control and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You can be so easily sucked into such, wishing that something never happened, or that you regret (and resent) that something happened, without looking at the bigger picture. I just feel now that these stumbling blocks that are put in front of us are there for a reason - God’s purpose for us - and that it forces us to re-evaluate ourselves, where we are at, and forces us to depend on God for strength to overcome this. Ey, Cloud. Silver. Lining. Remember? I know it’s extremely difficult and it’s easier said than done, but to be honest, because of the things that have happened, I’ve grown up, become more responsible and (hopefully) wiser. And definitely stronger. I am more at peace with everything around me and that’s made a big difference in the way I have treated people, especially my parents. And I guess I still have my weird sense of humour so at least I do know that I am still alive.
I know that it’s easy to reflect on the past, because I admit, I do tend to reflect on what has come before. I am rather sentimental like that and I do romanticise (and sometimes demonise) the past. I love to think of past happiness and past sadness… “All the triumphs and tragedies” if you really want to be dramatic about it. I also sometimes think of what-ifs and what-may-bes. As much as it provides some temporary consolation living vicariously within the multiple scenarios in your mind, there really should be no room for what-ifs because what is done is done and you can’t change the past. And it’s too easy to get caught up in past bad times when the present really is not so bad. But I haven’t found a way to deal with the what-may-bes yet. Is that hope? The danger here is getting too far ahead of yourself…
But it’s okay. I am grateful of where I am right now, what I am becoming, and I am excited for the future of who I will be because I am choosing to put God first.
P.S. Lord please grant me patience at work. Help me hold my tongue and my temper and treat my workmates better. This is what I really need to work on now because that is my greatest weakness in my testimony. I know that I am not a good Christian in the workplace. I need you GOD.
P.P.S. It’s amazing though, I can’t believe I’m the calm one now.
no-regrets-and-no-alarms-and-no-surprises-please

**just simply cool.

faithfulness, loyalty, loveIt makes me so mad reading or hearing about yet another guy who mistreats his girlfriend/wife - be it through cheating, physical or mental abuse, or even just taking her for granted.
Please, men. What you have is a gift and a blessing. Please treat her like one.
faithfulness-loyalty-love

**hey, at least SOMEONE gets it.

PS: 

i think you're AMAZING fo'dayz,

but i'm kind of sad 

because i have a feeling i'm not the kind of person you deserve 

but i WANT to be, very badly actually.

i also have a feeling you wouldn't give me a chance because i'm so young/naive

nor think of me that way because i'm so petty and immature. 

:/ idk, dude. 

\\EDIT: Monday, November 26, 2012, 8:16pm

okay, so i found your livejournal and this was the entry that spoke to me:

"Will I find her? I know that I'm notoriously difficult to live with... but someone who'll love me in spite of my faults...she will be someone so special...
But is she out there? I'm not getting younger and I feel that time is running out for me. I don't want to die alone. I don't want to die never having found true love, every day I cry inside for Ate Nikka because that's what happened to her." older

some of those fragments have played in my head VERBATIM! it's strange and amazing that i feel like you've borrowed my brain, that our thoughts have been simmering in the same cognitive soup. it's sad, too, because no one should feel the things we've felt :( #kindredspirit

\\EDIT: Thursday, November 29, 2012, 7:08pm

text mania!!

so he texted me when he was leaving home for California and i was super excited! then he texted me when he arrived, but i didn't receive it until 2 days later (11/27,7:09; 11/29,while at redlobz w/ nin) -_____- cuz dummy CC bombarded my inbox w/ texts because he didn't wanna use AIM or FBchat or Skype or ANYTHING ELSE. 

yesterday, i asked him, "do you think i'm weird?" he said, 

"10:57:09 PM enigmaticandrea: nope
10:57:28 PM enigmaticandrea: not any more weird than any of my other friends haha
10:57:34 PM enigmaticandrea: why do you ask"

but i didn't answer -______- then today, i text him (11/29/12,13:15), "when i asked if you thought i was weird, i was really trying to ask if you thought it was weird that i told you i liked you -_____-" to which he replied an hour and a half later (1/29/12,14:42), "oohh i thought you meant like me as a friend! nah i didn't think it was weird." and followed that with a, "how are you today? :)" 

also, let it be known that i've been consulting my big brother, G, on this matter. oh man, i cannot believe he said, "well, it was bound to happen" (when i told him on Sunday). anyway, he told me (after i forwarded the text i sent), "Oh wow! Has he responded? And you're really brave :) but I think if I was him I'd be really flattered. I'd jump on it LOL" okay, whatevz. we'll see what this is. still praying on it even though i feel really really awkward haha
FUNNY STORY: written 11:11pm
ok so today i almost cried. i was on Adium early in the morning at work and i thought i was going to die—i accidentally deleted my chat transcripts w/ H and i was desperate to get them back, haha. so i scour the internet; i was up and down google. i was also kinda scared because the one person i could think of asking on advice for how to find/restore these transcripts WAS H! but alas, i'm a smart cookie; i figured it out :) it was only funny because i didn't know it would affect me like that.

ALSO, realized: that i still hold onto fond memories of K. is that bad? can i be over you but still cherish our fun and shenanigans of old? : / WOMPUS...



\\EDIT: Sunday, December 09, 2012, 2:11am
is it super dumb that i am totally crushing over you? that i wonder when the next time we can video chat will be? if you'll IM me today? if it's okay to text you every couple of days just so you know that i'm thinking about you? that i find you utterly fascinating?

have i gone mad? insane, perhaps? i feel like i've lost my mind because my head is up in the clouds—on cloud 9, specifically, basking in the sunshine of every good feeling you've made me feel with the stupidest smile on my face that just doesn't quit.

 okay, the last thing i need to know: how you smell. it's primal, biological, and probably really strange/dumb, but i need to smell you. i need to see you again and soon! i've never even shook your hand and the last time i saw you was nearly a year ago!! i'm so foolish.
what am i even doing?

PPPS: this post is officially POSTED. :))