i'm starving for redemption. i don't want to feel sick and rejected anymore at the sight of him. i hate how i still remember how his ears look--what a terrible feeling i got in my gut when i found out my worst suspicions were true.. after many months i saw him.. i saw him at the Generate service tonight.
speak to me through your divine word, sovereign God. encourage and comfort me. PLEASE give me the ability to forgive, let go and finally stop hurting. release me from the power that his LEAVING & NEGLECT has over me.
show me i mean something because i'm broken for your love. you broke me so i would learn to trust in you, and you alone. help me in this storm. in this desert. in this dry season. in this time of sowing. let my toil not be in vain. let me harvest righteousness and not bitterness.
kris hurt me. i'm still hurting.
FIX IT, Father, and FIX ME.
let me find rest and peace in you. comfort me because it's so hard doing this, going through this.
relieve this hurtful reliving. the past has passed. you are my salvation and you are my future. "he makes all things beautiful in his time"—Ecc. 3:11a
—amen. so be it.
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