"falling in love" is not a good beginning for a lasting relationship.

"falling in love" round 1
when i first met him, i was 15 and i didn't fall in love. it started with a strange repulsion which prompted curiosity—why did have a strong, albeit negative, feeling toward this boy? it was more of a, "ew, he likes me? ughhh, great..."
...but blah, blah, blah happened i fell in like with the boy who was so sweet and would spend time with me at all costs. we fell into sin and then the relationship changed. we fell out of love, slowly fell out of sin, and quickly fell into being strangers in the bitter end.

"falling in love" round 2
fast forward nearly 10 years and here i am at 24, meeting my third and current boyfriend (although i would love to consider him my second one since the "real" second one was such a dud; and this short relationship i would like to call, "falling in lust").
when i met Paul, there were no fireworks—all i saw was a nice guy who i knew played guitar and sang, all of which made him seem even cuter. he was dressed like a hobo and i only knew one thing: i wanted him to notice me.

a quick break from the story, highly necessary, begs me to explain my need for acceptance: "i am an alien". this idea was introduced early into my head when i first started going to public school in america—it was hard to make friends with the language barrier and by being accustomed to how to related to american children. nobody wants to play with the weird, different kid. nobody wants to be friends with the shy, different girl who dresses weird. nobody wants to date the strange, ugly duckling bum.
and the idea that nobody wanted me, fueled the drive to make everybody like me.
ANYWAY, here i am still fighting to keep the people that like me to keep liking me. this means: compromising my morals and letting go of my values, saying and doing what i need to to keep them around, and lying to myself saying, "it's okay, it's okay."

"falling in love" round 2, continued
the next sentence i intended to write started off like this, "the moment we fell in love was..." but unfortunately, i cannot pick a moment, the moment. how frustrating that there's no moment, that there's no story. maybe it was that time we were filming in the park, when he was acting and i noticed his calm and vibrant spirit shining through with his smile—oh, his smile! i think that's what got me. how funny that this all happened before he formally introduced himself to us ("us" being jaimee and me).