Jelly Bean

i am jelly bean because she has him & he has her--they have each other. it's so cute and it's really nice seeing them both so happy--but then it sucks at the same time because, why can't i have that? they are a hurtful reminder of what i had. what did i do wrong? what am i doing wrong that he didn't want me anymore? i know that, towards the end, things already weren't going well.. problems were starting to come back more often and wouldn't leave. we couldn't push them away to solve later or fix them temporarily just so things would feel okay. i guess the only thing on my mind right now is:

after almost 4 and a half years, 

how am i supposed to fall out of love 

and forget the future we planned, 

the same future i still naively look forward to?