What you don't understand is you already have someone who loves you for who you are with or without makeup, dressed up or dressed down. What I have is a hope that he'll come back to me, hope he'll call me, hope he'll text me, hope he'll think of me. Or at least that God remembers me, that he remembers the wants I have in my heart, and the loneliness I have at this point in my life.

I had dreams of having a family and a dog and a house--the works--but that was all lost and what do I have now? What do I have but to wait for someone who may never come back? What do I have but a possible chance in which everything could be worse than it was before, where there are no commitments, where I could be just as lost and unhappy as before? Even if I were unhappy, I'd rather be unhappy with something than alone thinking about them.

So SORRY if I want to makeup to go to the bank. Maybe it's one of the little things that make me feel better in this life I live at home, lost without a lover, without a job, without a career, without a concrete life plan, without the support of my parents, without the understanding of my sisters, without the comfort of friendship.

Life sucks without a car.
Life sucks without understanding.
Life sucks when you're lonely.