I feel like I'm dying

Is this a mini anxiety attack?

I feel like my heart is beating so fast, my breathing is irregular, and like nothing can calm me down.

Am I sick? I think I feel cold, if I feel anything at all.



I prayed. I I tried to listen to a message, but instead I felt convicted. So I stopped. I'm currently listening to Christian music to hear something encouraging, but I feel numb.

My thoughts race: 
Paul
a baby
my weakness to resistance
the baby and Kris
spontaneous abortion
the loss
the "relief"
the emptiness

Paul doesn't like hearing about it. He doesn't like hearing about Kris. I can't talk about it. With anyone.

I wish I could sleep, so I can fast-forward to tomorrow, to another day, to another time—just one that isn't now.