The Craving

Since second grade, boys have had a hold on my heart. In college is when this hold became serious because this is when I gave myself away.

My heart wanted the attention of a man—the love and touch and all-consuming thought/worship of a man. I wanted to be desired. I wanted to feel like I was someone who meant something.

The deep desire to be married and have my own family has persisted through the years; an idea planted in my heart since I was a little girl. As of late, a godly and beautiful man has captured my heart and won my attention. However, I fear he will become an idol in my life and an obstacle in my walk—or he already has become an idol.

Father God, I ask for Your guidance and to walk closely with me. I need Your divine provision in directing my steps and desires toward Your plan for me in my life. Your will be done, not mine. Please, God, don't let my plan for myself get on the way of what You have planned for me.

Let me bow down to Your will and sovereignty, trusting in You and walking faithfully with You ESPECIALLY when it doesn't make sense and when it seems hopeless and difficult.

Be my God and reign undisputed in my heart.